The Place In Between
by hijustine
Summary: A mistake Kim makes changes her whole world. All she wants is everything to go back to the way it was, but it only gets more and more complicated. (Kick)
1. Prologue

**A/N: I know this is, like, a cliché idea for a story, but it's always fun to write (which is probably why it's so popular…) and I have no life and so I'm bored pretty much all the time. So it's really kinda just entertainment for me.**

 **Besides, I haven't seen many Kickin' It stories like this. Surprisingly. And I started watching this show on Netflix after I had watched every other thing there possibly was to watch (I was not kidding—I truly have no life) and I ended up really liking it…**

 **So here's this.**

 ***Rated T for sexual references, of course, really no way around that, and language. (Not gonna be dropping f-bombs every other word or anything, but they're teenagers and I mean, yes, they will probably swear sometimes.)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It.**

Prologue

 _Are you sure you want to do this?_

That question kept echoing through my mind. It was the only thing that I could remember clearly. Everything else faded quickly, but that stuck with me. I don't know why. But it did, and I could hear his voice perfectly, and if I closed my eyes, it felt like I was back there, on his bed, under his Gilmore Girls poster, which I had made fun of for at least thirty minutes after walking into his room. We were laughing at first. It was funny before it got serious.

 _Are you sure you want to do this?_

 _Yes._

I said yes, because at the time I didn't think about it enough to realize the real answer was no. No, I wasn't ready to have sex with him. I had just had my first kiss with him. But it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. I always thought it would feel like a huge deal until it actually happened.

When it actually happened, it wasn't _losing my virginity_ anymore, it was simply sex, and it was with Jack, and I liked Jack a lot, so why not?

 _Why not?_

In his room I was thinking why not, but in my own room, staring up at my white popcorn ceiling, I was just thinking: _why?_ Why had I just done that? I was fifteen. I heard about people my age having sex but it never really seemed like a real thing. Like something that happened. But then I did it, and I was one of those girls all of a sudden.

I didn't feel any different, either. I didn't feel 'changed' or whatever. Whatever way I was supposed to feel. I felt just like myself. In fact, I felt so much like Kim Crawford that I even had to keep telling myself in my head:

 _You just had sex. You just had sex. You had an actual penis inside of your actual vagina. It actually happened. Oh my God, Kim, you just had sex. With Jack! Kim! You just had sex with Jack._

Even then it was too surreal because I was in the same room I grew up in my whole life. The walls surrounding me were painted turquoise, had been since I was nine and decided I no longer liked pink. On my full-length mirror were photo booth pictures I took with my friends (and one with my Mom and Dad and one with my sister) every time I went to the movies, and I had been sticking them there since I was about ten. They made me smile each time I looked at them. On the wall beside that there was a big framed bible verse telling me to trust in the Lord with all my heart. A Hello Kitty TV was the only pink thing left in the room, sitting on top of my dresser because each time I had the chance to get a new TV I decided there was something else I wanted more, like the Macbook laying at the foot of my bed, or the expensive Barbie Dream House shoved somewhere in my closet (probably at the bottom).

It was me. It was my room. I was a little girl.

 _I was just a little girl._

I pulled my floral comforter tighter to me, trying to get it to swallow me, or at least make me feel small. Like I was five years old, truly a child, and not somewhere stuck in between childhood and adulthood, because that place in between was a scary thing.

 **A/N: Fun fact that you can 100% ignore if you wanna: I actually had a Hello Kitty TV until I was about eleven. I was pretty ashamed of it. Looking back, I kinda miss it. It was cute as hell. But old. Like had the box thing on the back, and it was all pink and it had a picture of Hello Kitty on the side of it.**

 **But anyway that's TOTALLY IRRELEVANT!**

 **This was short because it's the prologue, and I hardly ever write prologues, but when I do they tend to be short.**

 **Please leave a review if you liked this (or the idea of it, I should say)! :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews :) –**

 **Maddyliza1234: Thank you! That's what I was trying to do. I'm 16 and I just tried putting myself in that situation and trying to see how I would feel. Glad someone thinks I did a good job of it, it can be difficult!**

 **Bluedog720: Haha, I overthink EVERYTHING too, and I know what you mean! It can send you into an existential crisis :/ But I'm so glad you liked the prologue, and yeah, I guess it might be like that show. I haven't seen much of it either. And you're very welcome, your writing really was great! Very clear and descriptive.**

 **Guest: I know if I had a schedule I would never be able to stick to it, but I'll try and update as soon as I can! Glad you like it so much!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It.**

1

"I don't feel good. Can I stay home?"

I felt like a kid standing in my parent's doorway asking that question. I couldn't remember the last time I had done that. My Mom was in the middle of doing her makeup while my Dad was still in bed. Dad sat up slightly, resting his head on his hand and Mom peaked out of the bathroom, holding a mascara wand. I had their attention.

Mom held her hand out, motioning for me to come closer to her. She felt my head, then shrugged and moved her hand to my cheek.

"You don't have a fever," she told me, her way of saying I had to go to school.

Dad decided that there was no reason for concern and let his head fall back onto his pillow.

"But Mom. I _really_ don't feel good," I whined, sounding as miserable as I possibly could.

"Did you eat?" She asked, as she always asked, like that was the cure to any sickness on the planet.

"No. I think I'd throw up."

She furrowed her eyebrows then, like she was considering it. Her eyes moved to the beige carpet as she thought.

"Well, I did hear that stomach bug was going around," she said. She looked back at my Dad, whose eyes were closed. "Chuck, remember, I told you Jessica's son had it? He goes to Kim's school."

"Mhm," my Dad mumbled, eyes remaining shut.

Mom felt my head again before concluding, "All right, you can stay home today. I'll stay with you. You won't be missing anything?"

I shook my head no, feeling relieved, but trying not to smile because I didn't want her to think I was faking anything. I definitely wasn't.

"I wonder if Sadie's feeling okay," Mom said to no one in particular before disappearing into the bathroom. She came out empty-handed and left the room, then went upstairs to check on my sister, who probably wasn't sick, but would definitely say she was.

"Faker," my Dad accused, sitting up in bed, suddenly wide awake.

I shook my head. "I'm not faking!"

He laughed. "Faaaker." He drew out the word like a second grader.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled slightly before going back upstairs to my room. My Dad never believed we were sick. We could have a temperature of 105 and be throwing up constantly and he would still just call it good acting. He never got sick himself so he didn't believe anyone else did. I silently thanked God it was Mom who decided if we did or didn't go to school, because if my Dad did, we would end up going to school even if we had the bubonic plague.

Of course, I wasn't actually sick. I wasn't faking it either, but no, technically, I wasn't _sick_. I wished I was sick. I hoped I was sick. But I knew I wasn't.

The second I closed the door to my room I fell into bed and started crying hysterically. I clung to my pillow and let it get soaked with the hundreds of tears that spilled from my eyes like a dam that had just broken inside me. I just talked to my parents like everything was fine, like I was still perfect and innocent, still the angel they always thought I was, but none of that was true anymore. I wasn't perfect. I was stupid. They would find out eventually—I would have to tell them eventually—and then their idea of me would be wrecked beyond repair and they would never be able to see me the same again.

They always taught me that I would never have to worry about death because when we died, we would all meet again one day in Heaven. A big family reunion. It would be beautiful and everything would be golden. But now I was sure I would never get into Heaven, if it was even real anyway. The gates would be locked for me.

I didn't even know what I could do that day other than cry. I watched Parks and Recreation on Netflix for a little while, but nothing made me laugh, because I couldn't even pay attention to it. It felt weird to be doing something so normal when everything was such a mess. It was strange how nothing was actually any different though. My room looked the same, clothes thrown all over my floor and my bed unmade. I looked the same, dressed in a t-shirt and pajama shorts, blonde hair up in a careless bun. Everything was the same at that moment and it was so scary because I knew that with just one sentence I could change my entire world. But I didn't say it. I didn't even know if it was really true yet. I didn't _know_ , but it was an explanation for everything—it made perfect sense—so my hopes were pretty low. And if it was true, what the hell was I going to do?

I spent the day crying, and trying to watch TV, but not being able to actually pay attention to it. My Mom checked up on me a few times and I wiped away tears and drank a little water when she brought me some. She waited on Sadie and me all day, and she took care of us, because that's what mothers do. They make sure their children are happy and healthy, and that's the most important thing to them in the world.

I still needed my Mom for practically everything. I couldn't be a Mom myself.

 **A/N: All right so just letting y'all know, just to clear it up: religion will not be playing like a big part in this or anything, but there will be mentions of it, just because her parents are religious people, but it's not gonna get, like, deep into it or anything. Hope that's okay.**

 **This was another shorter not-so-eventful chapter, but I'm planning on more to actually happen in the next one, when she goes back to school and all. Just trying to kinda get the set up thing done.**

 **But anyway if y'all want me to keep going, please leave a review :)**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay I just updated yesterday, but I already had this written and I wanted to really get the story started so here's chapter 2. It's kinda long!**

 **Thank y'all for reviewing! –**

 **who am i really: Thank you soo much! And yeah, can you even imagine how cute Jack and Kim's baby would (will?) be?**

 **Maddyliza1234: Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm thinking! Life isn't a soap opera, haha. Thank you! :)**

 **Guest: Ahh thank you! That really made me smile! Hope you like this chapter too!**

2

After staying home Monday and Tuesday, I knew I had to go back Wednesday. Not only would my Mom make me, but I even kind of wanted to because I had a test in Algebra (my last class—no checking out). I had been trying to study, but with all the other stuff going on in my mind I couldn't exactly focus on math, so I was pretty sure I would fail it. But at least I wouldn't have to make it up. I hated make-up work.

I stared at my reflection in the full-length mirror, trying to see if I looked any different at all. I didn't want anyone asking me if I was okay because I felt like I might burst into tears if they did. Either that or I would vomit on their shoes, I wasn't sure, but neither seemed good. Everything was wrong, but I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and put on a purple skirt and I smiled in the mirror and made it all look believable because I knew I had to.

I turned around to my bed, which looked so comfortable, so inviting, and I couldn't help but let myself fall back into it. When I laid down, I accidentally laid on Monkey Monkey Junior, a stuffed monkey I had gotten when I was seven after losing my old stuffed monkey (Monkey Monkey Senior, I guess). I got up on my elbows and pulled him from underneath me, then rolled onto my back, holding him up in front of me.

His chocolate brown fur wasn't long in the first place, but on one spot by his ear I had—for some reason—cut it to be even shorter, so it looked like he had a little bald patch there. It made sense. He was probably pretty old in monkey years, I figured, assuming they didn't live as long as us. He also had a rip in his right leg from when I decided he needed surgery on it and, from that same surgery, there was a piece of a crayon stuck somewhere in his body that I still hadn't found. I don't know what the crayon's purpose was, but apparently I thought he needed it to gain full use of his leg again.

I smiled slightly at his little face, and at the innocence that he reminded me of. But then I shook my head and threw him to the other side of the bed, thinking that it was way too childish of me to still sleep with a stuffed animal. If I was going to be a Mom I couldn't sleep with a plush monkey.

 _If I was going to be a Mom,_ I thought so casually, like I was already used to that idea. Like I was twenty-eight and married and preparing for my new ' _bundle of joy'._ I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity and reached over and grabbed Monkey Monkey Junior again, squeezing him against my chest.

I didn't need to think that way because I wasn't going to be a Mom. Whatever happened, I _wasn't_ and I wouldn't be for a long time. So I was still a kid and I would still sleep with my stuffed animal because, _as a kid,_ I could do that.

Around that time I heard my Mom yell for Sadie and me to come downstairs, and I felt my heart start beating a little faster. I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to see Jack, or Grace, or anyone else. If anything, I just wanted to go take that test then run straight back home like a baby, back to my bed, and back to my stuffed monkey, and back to Amy Poehler on my computer screen. I would probably end up daydreaming about doing that all day, as I sat in my desk and tried not to glance in Jack's direction, not even for a second.

If I looked at him even for a second I was sure I would burst into flames. Or something like that.

The problem was that he was the single hardest person to ignore on the entire planet because he always looked so good, even just as he walked down the stupid school hallway in a black t-shirt and blue jeans with his stupid long hair that everyone knew he spent an hour on in the mornings trying to get it to look just right even though he claimed all he did was run a brush through it.

Not only was he hard to ignore, but the girls that were constantly stalking him and squealing over him each time he walked by weren't so easy to forget about either. Especially since Grace had suddenly become one of them.

When I got to school, she was standing with Lindsay, watching Jack sip from the water fountain like he was some beautiful deer in the wild. It disgusted me. I knew ignoring him would be a challenge, but God, I didn't know I would be tested so soon, two seconds after entering the building. I rolled my eyes and focused on my locker.

I took out my Algebra book, figuring I had time to study in French, and as I was putting it in my backpack I heard someone call my name. I sighed, agitated. I didn't feel like talking then.

"Kim!"

I turned slowly and made eye contact with Milton, who was walking up to me, smiling because he had no idea what was going on in my life. If he had an idea, he wouldn't have talked to me.

"Hey," I said, my voice lacking any sort of enthusiasm, and I knew there wasn't even a hint of a smile on my face.

Milton furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you okay?" He asked.

And there the question was. Two minutes into my day and I had already failed at ignoring Jack _and_ forgotten to fake smile when people talked to me. I felt the tears stinging my eyes at that simple question.

 _Are you okay?_

No, I wasn't, because I was fifteen and I was ninety-percent sure I was pregnant with my not-boyfriend's baby, so my life was over, and nothing was okay, I felt like I would rather die than go through the rest of that day.

But it wasn't like I could tell Milton that.

So I blinked back tears, leaning forward so that the door to my locker blocked his view of me and wiped my eyes. Then I put on a smile and closed my locker, looking back up to him.

"I'm fine! Why?" I replied, sounding as happy as a person could sound (I hoped).

He smiled again and I knew he was convinced. He shrugged. "Well, you were out for two days. I was just gonna make sure you were okay. Were you sick?"

I nodded. "I was. A little. But I feel fine now."

"Good. Then I'll see you in French."

"See you."

He turned away from me, probably about to go join Jack and Jerry on the other side of the hall like usual.

"Hey, wait, Milton," I said before he got too far away.

He turned back to me, raising his eyebrows.

"Thanks for asking," I told him, then added, "If I was okay."

He shrugged. "No problem. We're friends," he said simply.

 _Simply_. Because it was as simple as that. We were friends, of course he would ask me how I was. Friends did that.

I watched as he went and stood with Jack and Jerry. He said something to them and they laughed.

Then I remembered I was supposed to be pretending Jack didn't exist and I looked away from the group. The group I used to be a part of. If I had never slept with Jack, things wouldn't have been awkward between us and I would still have been a part of that group. I would have been able to follow Milton and join them too, and laugh at whatever was being said, but things weren't like that anymore, and Milton was the only one of them that still actually acknowledged me. Sometimes Jack and I would meet eyes and he would smile at me (uncomfortably), and sometimes Jerry would talk to me in English because he was bored and I sat behind him, but that was all I ever got, unless we were at karate practice where we couldn't just ignore each other.

We must have never been as close as I thought.

My eyes stung again and I closed them, feeling my chest flutter as I tried to keep myself from crying, but that time I was sure I wouldn't be able to stop myself, and I walked quickly to the bathroom, not wanting to make a scene by running there.

When I went in, I saw Grace and Lindsay were by the mirror. Lindsay was on her phone and Grace was putting a ribbon in her hair. She looked right at me, and I knew there was no getting out of there. She smiled.

"Kim!" Grace exclaimed.

Lindsay glanced at me before rolling her eyes and going back to checking her Instagram or whatever important thing she was doing.

I couldn't help myself, though. The tears weren't going away, and even though I hated crying in front of people, I cried. I had no way of controlling it. It was all I had been doing the past couple days. I just couldn't stop.

Grace's eyes widened. "Oh my God, what's wrong?" She asked, not in the most sincere tone.

I shook my head before running to the end stall—the handicap stall—and locking the door behind me. I leaned against the door and looked up at the blurry ceiling.

"Lindsay. Leave." I heard Grace's voice again. She sounded stern.

"But—"

"Go," She interrupted Lindsay's protest.

I heard a groan, then the sound of the door to the bathroom opening and shutting.

I started trying to think of some trivial reason I might have been crying, because I knew I was about to be forced to talk to her, but I really was never any good at telling lies. Even worse at coming up with a lie to tell. Grace was the queen of lying, so I was pretty sure she would be able to tell if I wasn't telling the truth.

She tried opening the stall door before letting out an annoyed sigh. "Kim. Open the fucking door."

I didn't respond. There was a long pause. I tried to cry as silently as I could.

"Kim!" She said my name angrily.

The bell rang, saving my life. She stomped her foot.

"Ugh! Fine. Whatever. You can just stay in there. I have to get to class. We're doing a lab in Chemistry today and _Jack's_ my partner," she informed me in her _aren't-you-so-jealous_ tone.

I heard her skip away, and once the door shut I bent forward, resting my head in my hands. The only sound I heard was the sound of water droplets. One of the sinks in that bathroom never shut off completely. It got on everyone's nerves.

Something about that sound made me feel so lonely, but I couldn't bring myself to leave.

 **A/N: About Grace: In like every fanfic that I've read, Grace is Kim's, like, best friend, but she wasn't even mentioned much in the show and when she was on an episode they always came off more as… _frenemies_ to me. She always seemed like kinda a bitch to me. So I'm writing her that way! Haha. Maybe I'm wrong about or maybe I missed something in the show, but whatever.**

 **Anyway, if you liked this, please leave a review so I'll know to continue it!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: All right I wanna tell y'all first about a dream I had, just because it was really great. I dreamed Leo and Olivia made a MOVIE together. And not a disney movie. Like a rated R romance movie. I remember being so freaking excited and then when I woke up I was SO disappointed. They need to actually do that because damn. Would be fantastic. And hot.**

 **Anyway, back to relevant shit.**

 **Thanks for the reviews! –**

 **Autumn1999: Thank you! And yeah, that's what I was thinking. Usually every fandom is filled with stories like this, but I haven't seen many here, so I thought I'd be the one to write it ;) I've never done one before, either, so it's different for me.**

 **Maddyliza1234: Thanks! Glad you agree about Grace. And you're right, too—the guys were really her closest, and pretty much only, friends. The girls she became friends with only were there for a couple episodes. :(**

 **Optimistic girl94: Thaannnk you! Description has never been one of my strong points so I'm glad you think I did that well :) As for seeing Jack's side of the situation… I've never been a fan of changing POVs, so you might not see that for a while! But it'll all come out eventually. Also, thank you for pointing out that I always end chapters in one liners. I have honestly NEVER noticed that! But now that you say it I do it not only with this, but like, with everything I write. Haha, so I will try to switch that up more.**

 **M: Thank you! And yeah Grace annoyed me too :( She seemed to annoy Kim as well most of the time. About Monkey Monkey Junior—he was inspired by my own stuffed monkey, who I love dearly. We all have that one stuffed animal we hold onto no matter how old we get, I think.**

 **Who am I really: Thanks so much! Glad we're on the same page about Grace :)**

 **Leohowardluver123: Aww thank you! That means a lot.**

 **Guest: Thanks!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It.**

3

Nothing in the lunch line seemed even halfway-appetizing, so I just grabbed an apple before taking my seat in between Grace and Amanda. I turned it around in my hand, examining it. I had never fully trusted any school food. As I did that, I thought of Jack. I thought of the day I met him and how quickly I developed a crush on him. He was just so _cool_. He stood up to the Black Dragons, which no one else had had the guts to do before, and he made me realize that they sucked. He was the reason I was at Bobby Wasabi. I had liked him so long and then one night we finally admitted it to each other and we took it too far.

I was supposed to be ignoring him, but I couldn't help but look over Grace's shoulder at him, sitting with Milton and Jerry. He was just listening to something Milton was saying. He could be a great listener. He could look at you with his golden eyes and make you feel like the only person on the planet, like what you were saying was the only thing that mattered to him. He was simply easy to get caught up in, and so everyone did.

"Is that all you're eating?" Grace asked, bringing me back to reality.

I quickly looked away from Jack and back to her. I nodded.

She narrowed her eyes at me, then turned around. She had noticed that my attention was on someone else and she wanted to see who. I prepared myself for whatever shit she was about to give me.

She turned back to me, grinning annoyingly. "Oh, Jack. Why don't you talk to him anymore? Didn't you two used to be, like, best buds?" She asked condescendingly.

"I was wondering that too," Lindsay joined in from across the table. She leaned forward onto her elbows. "Did you have a fight?" She sounded very hopeful, wanting so badly to hear about some awful fight I had with Jack.

"He is so cute," Amanda commented, then took a bite of applesauce.

Ignoring Amanda's true but unnecessary comment, I focused on Grace's question. "Nothing really happened… we just… drifted apart, you know?" I told her with a simple shrug, like it was nothing of importance.

"Oh," she said, disappointed at the lack of drama. She looked down at her tray.

She started eating then, and it was quiet until Kirsten brought up tomorrow night's football game and the routine we were going to do. I didn't join in on the conversation, but just looked straight ahead at my apple and made a mental note to never get another apple again. The stupid thing would only bring back Jack memories and if I was going to forget about Jack, I needed to forget _why_ I needed to forget about Jack. It would have been easier if Grace quit bringing him up all the time, too, but that would never happen. She knew how much it bothered me and therefore would never stop.

I missed sitting with the guys. I missed being close with them. But after I slept with Jack (still sounded completely unbelievable in my head) we couldn't seem to act the same around each other anymore. I hated that, but it was the way it went, so after two days of still sitting at their table and awkwardly trying to avoid Jack's eyes, I started sitting with Grace. She welcomed me warmly, excited to hear all the dirty gossip— _why aren't you sitting with Jack anymore? What happened there?_ I just never told her, always brushing the topic off. She kept trying, though, every day it seemed, bringing it back up, as if I would suddenly decide to tell her everything. I wasn't a good secret keeper until I had a real secret to hide (though I knew I couldn't hide that forever either, I pretended I could).

Thursdays were the worst days, too, because on Thursdays I had to go to cheer practice right after school (which meant more dealing with Grace), then after that I had to go straight to the dojo for karate practice. I used to like that. I used to like having that busy day. But now it was just another thing I dreaded.

I missed so many things and I was afraid I would never get any of it back. Being with Jack was my dream before, and I didn't know it would lead to such a nightmare. That didn't even seem possible. What could go wrong there? What could be bad about that?

So much. I just didn't know.

It's one of those things, too, that you just constantly go back and think: what if I just _hadn't_ done that? What if I knew what the result would be? I wouldn't have done it if I knew, but I didn't know, and so I did. It seemed right then. Beautiful, even. But it made everything so wrong, and I could have just simply said the word _'no_ ', and my whole life would be just the same. Everything could have been preserved if I had said one word. I was afraid that thought would haunt me the rest of my life.

I couldn't keep a clear head. I had too many thoughts. Grace noticed that while we were in the locker room.

I was pulling my hair up in a ponytail, standing in front of the mirror, after changing into my tank top and Nike shorts when she came and stood right behind me. She smiled at me weirdly in the mirror. I smiled back, confused, and turned to her.

"Hi?" I said like it was a question. _Is there something you need, Grace?_

She waited a second for all the other girls to leave the room. They left in a herd, like sheep, as they tended to do, giggling. Their ponytails all jumped with each step they took. Grace turned back to me.

"Kim, you've seemed, like, _so_ weird today," she paused, looking at the ceiling, as if in thought. "Yesterday, too, actually. Are you okay?" She asked, feigning sympathy.

She was transparently shallow. Never sincere.

I put on a fake smile, but made sure not to overdo it. I didn't use teeth.

"Yeah. Totally," I replied. I crossed my arms and shrugged oh-so-casually.

She furrowed her eyebrows in a disbelieving way. People saw right through her and she saw right through people.

"Kim," she said my name in the same fake-caring way. She placed a hand on my arm. "You know I'm, like, your best friend and you can tell me anything. Like, if you wanna talk, I'm here for you. Whatever it is."

I nodded. "I know. Thanks Grace. When there _is_ something to talk about, I'll talk to you about it. Okay?" I said, my annoyance with her evident in my voice.

I shook her arm off of me before leaving the locker room. I couldn't see her face but I knew it had to be red with anger. I bet she couldn't _believe_ I talked to her that way. I smiled at that thought as I joined the other cheerleaders in the middle of the gym floor.

Practice was harder for me than usual because I was so tired I thought I would pass out the whole time. Plus, every so often I got a wave of nausea and I freaked out, thinking I was going to throw up on all the cheerleaders holding me up (I was always the top of the pyramid—I was lightest for the time being). Thankfully that didn't happen.

But as much as cheer practice sucked I knew it wouldn't even compare to karate practice, because at karate practice I had to face the boys that I could no longer really call my friends. They were more like acquaintances, and trying to talk to acquaintances was always a little awkward.

"Hey Kim!" Milton greeted me when I walked in.

"Kiiiim." Jerry's voice followed, and he dragged out my name like a kid, which made me smile.

"Hey!" I said in reply, looking first to Milton, who was standing near the door, then to Jerry, who was sitting on the bench by Jack.

Jack didn't say anything, but he made eye contact with me and smiled. He gave a slight wave. I gave him back his smile and slight wave politely before putting my stuff in my locker.

That was that. We were polite with each other. Not friends anymore, but friendly enough. As I thought about the way things are and the way they were I teared up, feeling like a baby. I was sick of crying, but the tears never seemed to end. I wondered if at some point I would just run out of them.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Jerry. I quickly reached up and wiped my eyes.

"Kim, can I please spar with you today? I know you've been with Milton every practice since…" He trailed off, trying to think of some way to say it without making the moment uncomfortable, "You quit partnering with Jack, but he's killing me. And don't you think it would be funny to see him beat Milton up?" He nudged me at the last part, raising his eyebrows.

I laughed lightly. "That's mean," I accused, pointing at his chest. "But okay. Fine. If he does, like, actually kill him though it's your fault."

He shrugged. "I'll take full responsibility."

So I paired with Jerry that day and Jack paired with Milton. It did not go well for Milton, of course, and I knew he would be sore for a while after that. But I didn't realize until I sparred with Jerry how strong he actually was. I had just assumed he was as weak as Milton, who had never once hurt me, but he was actually pretty decent. And he did hurt me, at least a little. Somehow it hadn't occurred to me until right then, when I got a few _actual_ kicks to my _actual_ stomach, that there was _no_ way I could do cheerleading and freaking _karate_ and _not_ hurt my baby ('my baby'—the sound of that sent a chill down my spine). I wasn't positive that that baby even existed, but if it did, I probably should have been trying to keep it safe. I didn't know what I was going to do. I barely knew my options. So I should probably have been trying to keep that possible baby alive until I did know.

 **A/N: If you're thinking, like, ' _Duh_ Kim,' just keep in mind she has a lot going on at the moment, and none of it's easy at all :(**

 **Hope y'all liked this chapter! If you did, please review so I'll know to keep going! And y'all can tell me what y'all hope happens next/what you _expect_ to happen next! :)**


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